Cancer Surviving and Thriving

Perhaps the question is better stated, “Who is a cancer survivor?”

Recently I attended a conference for cancer survivors. The conference organizers defined  those who have been successfully treated as survivors. Successfully treated means that they are in remission of some sort or perhaps even considered cured. This raises a fundamental question. Is a cancer survivor someone who has been through treatment? Or is a survivor someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and is with us today?

If I were the one to set the terms, I would say without qualification that a cancer survivor is anyone diagnosed with cancer. Here is my story and why I feel so strongly about my view.

Shortly after I was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) in 2000 (my Y2K bug!), I was at a corporate health fare representing Weight Watchers, my employer at the time. After I set up my table, I took a look around to see who else was there. My eyes fell upon the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) table. All I knew about LLS at that time was that they had something to do with leukemia and that it was the organization Team in Training (TNT) supported.

I walked over to the LLS table and spoke to the woman sitting there. I told her that I had recently been diagnosed with CLL. She said something like, “So, you are a leukemia survivor.”

My terse reply was, “How can that be? I was just diagnosed. I haven’t been treated or anything.” The fact was that I was only beginning to see myself as someone with cancer. The full impact hadn’t yet sunk in.

She told me, “You have been diagnosed. You have leukemia. You are a survivor.”

Bells rang. Lights blinked on and off. I got it. “I have cancer,” I thought, “and I am alive. It hasn’t killed or disabled me. Indeed, I am a survivor.” Her easy remark changed the way I thought about leukemia and me. Little does she know how she changed my life. From that moment on I was not someone victimized with cancer. I would never have to see myself as powerless in what I then thought would be my battle with and against cancer. (Later I came to change my perspective about whether I was in a battle at all.) I am a survivor and leukemia need not bring me down.

Being a survivor is being active. Being a survivor is being strong (even if I might become physically weakened by the disease or treatment). Being a survivor is being able to experience the full range of emotions and feelings that come with cancer. Being a survivor is being able to look at every aspect of cancer. Thus, I didn’t need to wait until I was treated to see myself as a survivor.

There is no reason to wait until completing treatment to define oneself as a survivor. Having said that, let’s not forget that treatment itself can be a terrible ordeal. As we all know cancer treatments can make us sicker than the cancer itself. All too often cancer treatment does not even work and can make matters worse. Truly when one comes through treatment in remission or even cured, one has survived. What a joyous feeling. To have been through all the difficulty of treatment and survived! I am still here! I am surviving! To be sure, one who completes cancer treatment is a cancer survivor.

My point is that there is much more to being a survivor than completing treatment. I would guess that those who identify themselves as survivors from the outset are more likely to do well with treatment. Survivors are more likely to have a better frame of mind about their treatment. Survivors are more likely to have prepared themselves emotionally about upcoming treatment. Survivors are more likely to know the alternatives available and prepared for treatment. Survivors are more likely to avail themselves of alternative and complementary modalities that can ease the difficulty of treatment and perhaps even increase its effectiveness.

Think about it. What are your thoughts?

As a life coach  for cancer survivors, I am available to assist any cancer survivor who is struggling with their identity as someone with cancer. Are you having difficulty seeing yourself as a survivor? Do you feel like a victim? Do you want to feel like a survivor? Please contact me and we can explore your concerns and how I can help you. Thank you for reading.

Welcome to Cancer Surviving and Thriving. My name is Michael Friedman, the host of this blog. I am a cancer survivor and thriver and a professional life coach working with cancer survivors  looking to thrive. 

I will be writing about a variety of issues which will be of interest to you. Here are some subjects I will cover: determining what is important in your life and going for it, why a cancer diagnosis is not the end of the world, having a life with meaning while living with cancer, guided imagery and cancer, and much, much more. 

This will be an interactive blog. In other words when you read a post which you find interesting or meaningful, I want you to provide us with the gift of your thinking, so please comment.  The only rule is that comments must be in a friendly, civil tone. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. This is intended to be a place where people will feel safe to share their experiences and questions. 

A little about me. I was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) in July 2000 at the age of 52, considered young to encounter CLL. I have been in remission since February 17, 2004. In March 2004 I took the plunge and turned my life upside down. I entered the JFK University Life Coaching program, which I completed in 2005, earning my coaching certificate.

Before I was diagnosed with CLL I had run five marathons (the fifth only three months before the diagnosis). In December 2004 and March 2006 I ran my sixth and seventh with Team in Training (TNT) to raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. That’s the bare bone introduction. In the future you will get to know me better as I hope to get to know you.

Please come back soon to become more acquainted with cancer surviving and thriving. Please contact me at any time at CancerThriver@aol.com. 

Peace.